Resolve

It’s a new year, and I guess that means its time for new beginnings. I have never been big on making resolutions, or doing anything to hold my self accountable to them. I think this year might be a little bit different. For the first time, I have some actual concrete goals, and I intend on achieving them.

If there’s anything I’ve learned, it’s that you probably don’t want to tell people your goals. Sure, it’s good to talk about with loved ones, but they are subject to change. I never wanted to get myself too locked in to one thing because of how quickly my interest would dwindle.

I don’t know what my resolution was at the end of 2017, but in hindsight, I hope I just wished to be normal. I was going thru a bit of rough patch at the time, so to see how far I’ve come in comparison is something I should give myself credit for. I can only pray that these changes will continue to grow exponentially.

This year I will keep it simple, I just want to continue with the progress I have been making. It’s odd how quick the universe rewards you for making a change, and I am becoming slightly addicted to these treats. To the victor goes the spoils.  Maybe it’s just a placebo, but it gets me pretty high.

In the past year, I was able to write a 400 page book, and go thru three rounds of editing, send it to an editor by 12/30, and I STILL wasn’t even trying my hardest. I can do better. I hope this year to organize my time better, and not stay off the surf board too long.

Life comes at me in waves, from emotion to ambition. Sometimes I take a break from myself because of the ocean, but then I’ll let waves pass while waiting to start back up again. Towards the end of 2018 I finally started to figure out how to be productive between waves. It’s easier to get back up on the board for the next one when you never stopped moving to begin with.

I have a dream. I really want this dream. This dream is more important to me than any thought that has ever entered my mind. At the end of the rainbow in this fantasy, is a pot of gold filled with all of my other dreams.  I thought that it was going to take me a really long time to see it to reality, but I may have sold myself short. This dream has grown roots and I believe that this will be the year that they break ground.

My resolution for 2019 is to have more resolve. To resolve this situation. To bring it to a resolution. I am sort of living in a secret world right now, and the quicker I can fix these little things, the faster the big changes will be set into motion. I won’t have to hide from me anymore. I get to expose myself to you.

“Take this pink ribbon off my eyes/I’m exposed and it’s no big surprise/Don’t you think I know exactly where I stand/This world is forcing me to hold your hand.” No Doubt: Just A Girl

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Document Dump

So, if you are reading this deeply into my blog, I am hoping that you have arrived here as a result of me seeing my own plan thru to completion. Today, I took the afternoon finally re-reading all of the documents I created while fighting for my life during 2017 and have decided to get them off my hard drive. It was a good chance to reflect on all the strides I have taken since getting my head above water, while also peering into the mind of what was once a mad man. What better place to hide these documents for now than publicly in plain sight?

If I have succeeded in my goal, you have read the book. If you’ve read the book, you should have some level of understanding about the state I was in during the crafting of the following posts.. If you have not, please remember not to judge me by my cover.

The documents I have posted today were all written between my 04/05/17 and 05/21/17, in the peak of my two-part psychological breakdown. The initial document was written on the plane ride home from Costa Rica, the final document was written just before leaving Costa Rica for a 2nd time in that six-week span.

While there are parts that may seem childish and even antagonistic, they will always be special to me for the simplest reasons. They document my death, and they document my birth. It was a cataclysmic period for my own mental well-being. I am happy to have saved some documentation of my thought processes throughout this journey. If you have read my work, and are working to kill the devil within you, I am hopeful that this will help you find the way.

It’s not about killing the devil within us, its about befriending him. He is killed with kindness. It’s an old cliché, but love truly is the answer. We all have it in us, and we all just have fucked up ways of showing it.

I hope you enjoy the posts and seek comfort in my own mental self-destruction.

With Love,

Andrew M Jernigan

 

 

 

The Complaint

*The lengthy letter below was drafted April 5th-6th, 2017 while on my first return flight from Costa Rica and was intended for the attorney of Royal Banana Co.. The weight of returning to America with unresolved business led to an urgency to force a resolution to situation where I felt victimized. During this stage in the journey, I almost felt as if I was in the eye of my psychotic hurricane, thinking as clearly as I had pre-awakening.

Due to the complexities of the case I will be presenting, I have decided it would be best to come forward with my evidence in segments in advance of the affidavit I will file with the National Labor Relations Board sometime during the week of April 10th. Given the all encompassing nature of my lawsuit, and the risk for “collateral damage” and “total exposure,” I feel it would be best if we try to settle this issue as swiftly and efficiently as possible. I am very confident in the strength of my stance, and would like to minimize any undesired results that may arise from releasing all the info I have ascertained over the course of my 6 years with Royal Banana Co. and the International Brotherhood of Teamsters Local 337. At this time, I have left the latter out of this suit, but would like to reserve the right to add them as a defendant after a consultation with my attorney.

The facts listed below are excerpts from a greater timeline that I have created outlying the egregious misuses of authority, lack of organizational structure, hostile work environment, and lack of safety and sanitization protocols that have been growing rapidly during the tenure of Chief Operating Officer and sole-decision maker of Royal Banana Co., Tony Misuraca. The witness list I have prepared to support this greater document includes the entire staff of Royal Banana Co. as well as customers and competitors from around the region. Given the inability of Royal Banana Co. to properly maintain a list of addresses for their employees, I will need a brief amount of time to verify the contact information for each and every one of those witnesses. However, if at any time during the discovery process the lawyers for Royal Banana Co. feel that my case is too strong, I would be open to discuss my settlement proposals without and legal representation and with the consultation of Royal Banana Co. Vice President and majority stake-holder, Frank Misuraca Jr.

The following evidence will be used to support the smallest and least damaging aspect of my case, which is the accusation of a wrongful discharge and threats made by one Tony Misuraca. It will only detail the last 3 weeks of real-time, in contrast to the greater case which has tentacles reaching back to the beginning of my 6 year career, and as we will soon discover, likely far longer than that.

The Summary

On March 8th 2017, C.O.O. Tony Misuraca and I had a private meeting where we discussed some of the troubles I was facing while trying to execute what I believed to be his wishes. It is very difficult to certify that those were his wishes, as I was never given a job description or any safety training during my time at Royal Banana Co.. However, when read in the context of the greater “Timeline,” I feel it will leave no doubt as to what was expected of me.

In this meeting, it was implied that my attempts to insulate Royal Banana Co. from any harmful lawsuits would only continue to cause unrest for the management, or more specifically, Tony, of Royal Banana Co.. The exact details of these issues I presented in this meeting would best be saved for the depositional process. One thing I gleaned from this conversation, is that Tony Misuraca was essentially giving up on any desire to run Royal Banana Co. in a safe and successful manner. Based on previous promises he had made, where it was stated that he was grooming me to be his successor, I saw this as an opportunity to reinvigorate his spirit and give him a job he could be proud of. My reason for this line of thinking was a statement he made along the lines of “We are not saving animals, we are just ripening bananas, it’s just a job.” Other comments he made in this meeting include his potential desire to sell Royal Banana Co. one day to a competitor, which would inevitably lead to an erosion of the wages that my co-workers had been trained to expect. As a pro-business lad myself, I do not fault him for thinking that this was an appropriate goal. However, given my loyalty to the company and the fine people it employs, I felt that if I could fix these issues it could set a new course for the company and allow everyone to feel happy and secure, ownership included, in their future with Royal Banana Co..

That weekend, March 11-12th, I spent time researching different thought processes and started down a trail that ultimately led to my dismissal. This thought was ignited from an article I had read in Crain’s Detroit regarding federal funding for a new Detroit Produce Terminal. In advance of new federal guidelines being implemented, I got the impression that this would be something that would happen during my long and successful future (as promised by Tony Misuraca) with Royal Banana Co.. Based off a conversation I had with Tony in January 2017, where he stated, “You and I think alike and have the same goals, I just think you do a much better job of following up,” I felt that it was important that I take the lead on this project as the voice and advocate of the company I had grown to love.

On March 13th, 2017, in a moment of serendipitous clarity, I stumbled into an idea that I felt would be the best course of action for making my dream become a reality. I shared this idea with Royal Banana Co. salesman, Kevin, a last name I cannot provide at this time due to unprofessionalism of the workplace. During the course of the next few days, I focused on nothing but the development of this plan. It was my vision. However, given my commitment to the company, I was still maintaining what I thought to be my job duties, even though they were never properly assigned or listed as mine. One of these duties was to be an around the clock assistant to Vice President Frank Misuraca, a gentleman I have a great deal of respect for and have always felt close to during my “advancement” up the Royal Banana Co. “organizational” structure. Given his disconnect from the business operations, due to the overwhelming aspect of his job and position of helplessness I identified on day 1, I did not bounce these ideas off of him at first because I felt it would only distract him from what is a never-ending job.

On March 17th 2017, I called a private meeting with General Manager Chad Brooks to discuss my plans for the future of Royal Banana Co.. The intent of this was to get his personal insights prior to presentation of the plan to C.O.O. Tony Misuraca whenever he returned from vacation. In this meeting, Chad shared personal information, which I will hold to the grave, that not only implied but stated that he found himself in a position of “no authority” very similar to the one I was coming to terms with myself. However, he very clearly supported my desire to organize the creation of a new terminal, and even encouraged me to actively pursue it in advance of him discussing it with C.O.O. Tony Misuraca. Based off the sequence of events in the previously mentioned “Timeline,” I had every reason to believe that approaching GM Chad Brooks was the proper person on the “organizational” structure to issue my tasks and approach to with my issues. An example of this, included in the timeline, is from February 2011 where in the interview I was told by President Fred Misuraca that Chad would be my manager, if when C.O.O. Tony Misuraca returned from vacation, he decided I was to be offered a job. Given my stellar resume and advancement in related work-background, I found it odd for an offer to be delayed after an interview they had solicited thru a mutual acquaintance. In hindsight, I should have seen that admittance as the foundation for what would soon become a major problem in the inner-workings of Royal Banana Co.

I digress.

Another aspect of this meeting with General Manager Chad Brooks was the discussion of an e-mail he had received in regards to federal grants available for projects strikingly similar to the one I had only mentally dreamed of. I took this as a sign that need for pursuit was imminent. This thought was hammered home, when he printed off the email for me and stated “I highlighted some important information on the back page” before handing it off to me in front of several witnesses whom I will name later. When I flipped to this page, I had found that a deadline for submission was the only thing highlighted, and the date was only 10 days from where we stood at that moment. When I mentioned that to him, and how I felt it was a sign that we were going to get this done, he smiled and said “Ya, it was in my e-mail for a few months, I had just thought of it as a “dead-end.”

Being an extremely motivated individual with confidence in his skills, I knew that 10 days was more than enough time for me to make this a reality. I immediately forwarded a photo of the grant to halfway decent friend and close confidante ***** **********, whose advice on this matter I had already been seeking. I also forwarded a copy to my uncle, Commercial Real Estate Developer and Global Missionary, ******* Burns, who responded in the affirmative when asked for his support. I also forwarded a copy of this grant to older brother, Director of Finance at *****, ****** Jernigan, hoping his connections in the business world would assist me in this pursuit. He pledged to support me on this endeavor in a way only family could.

March 19th 2017- I had nearly finalized the details of this grant, and was ready to pursue it with the fullness of my heart. This was on a Sunday, two days removed from the assignment of the project by General Manager Chad Brooks. Given the size of this project, I felt it would be best if we immediately met with attorneys that represent Royal Banana Co., hoping they could give me advice on how to properly pursue this. As a result of the highlighted deadline, I reached out to Business Manager Bethanne Munoz in a text message where I stated something along the lines of “Put the lawyers on high alert, I think I have come up with the ultimate Italian Job.” At the time she did not respond, but we had an unspoken agreement to only communicate outside of work when the issue was extremely pressing. She was also in a position of helplessness, the details of which have been laid out in the timeline and are based off of private conversations we had shared. So I did not take this as a negative reaction as I did not include any question marks in my text that would imply I expected a response.

I also emailed a one line summary of the plan to C.O.O. Tony Misuraca on this day, due to my excitement for the new plan and a statement he made on March 9th 2017. “You can e-mail me any time about anything, you are a really good writer, some of the things you say are so well done it is like I am reading them out of a book.” At the time, I took that as a compliment.

March 20th 2017-

Given the rate at which the highlighted deadline was approaching, I was having difficulty focusing on the union work that I was being expected to perform daily. In the 6 months I was removed from IBT local 337, at the request of Tony, I was never given any indication that I had a job other than the one that was previously negotiated when I was with representation of the union. A quick tangent, my compensation was never presented to me and was changed without notice by Tony Misuraca two weeks after leaving the union. When asked about my pension benefits he stated, “You’ll be in the Royal Banana plan now,” the exact details of which he was unwilling to share at the time.

Back to that fateful Monday. I had already presented and had the pursuit approved by General Manager Chad Brooks, and was ready to present to the President of Royal Banana Co. Fred Misuraca. I called him into a private meeting where I was again hoping he would provide insights as to how to properly approach sole-decision maker Tony Misuraca on this subject matter. In this meeting, the exact details of which are laid out in the timeline, it was implied that this project may be too big for me to handle and he could not understand my desire to chase a dream so large. I had mentioned to him that it would make my parents extremely proud, and would help to alleviate the stress caused from my childhood where I did nothing but disappoint them. I stated that in collaboration with this pursuit, I would write a book on my past where I exposed myself entirely to the world, in hopes that the open honesty would help publicize the project and set it on the proper course, which required unity and working together. At times in this meeting Fred smiled and hinted that it was a noble idea, but ultimately the meeting ended without him offering any assistance as to where to go from there. I got the sense from body language that perhaps there was an inner-turmoil, as if he knew that his son, Tony Misuraca, would not be on board with this project. The meeting concluded and we both continued about our work day. He went back to his office, I went back to performing union duties in an effort to assist Vice President Frank  Misuraca.

Soon after, Tony approached me and stated that he had read my e-mail and was very curious about the plan. He stated that he was ready to have a meeting, and I replied that I needed a few minutes to unload a banana truck and that he should get the synopsis in advance from his father, President Fred Misuraca. We set a time for the meeting at 30 minutes. Within 20 minutes, he was waiting for me by what is referred to as “Banana Room 10” with a smile on his face, so I felt that he was ready to take action. Prior to entering the meeting, I received a text message from salesman Mark (I again apologize for the lack of proper name) where he requested my password for a OneDrive account I had set up to share my intellectual property with the company. This text made me feel uneasy, as I had already installed it on every computer and the only reason to need the password at this point was to change the password. I could sense trouble.

When I went upstairs for the meeting, I was again being led to believe by the smiles of Tony that we were about to have a history making moment in that office. On the way up to the office I pointed out a stack of pallets, and a recent “epiphany” I had about how signs of order versus the usual chaos, he replied with “Oh boy, there’s that word again.” My first indication that I was walking in to my own demise.

 When I entered and saw General Manager Chad Brooks and the look he gave me, my previous thoughts of potential trouble were reinforced. Nonetheless, I proceeded with the presentation of the plan. At the time it was written on just 2 pages and only outlined the overall details, I was hopeful for assistance in expanding it. From the moment this meeting started, I was feeling mocked and ridiculed by C.O.O. Tony Misuraca. He stated repeatedly that he would not assist me in this endeavor, and used language that was geared toward forcing me to quit. Repeatedly, he told me that I did not need to give two weeks’ notice and that Royal Banana Co. would be fine without me. In preparation of this meeting, I had considered all the possible outcomes and was ready for this potential reaction from Tony, but did not quite understand the reasoning behind it. I was offering a new building, at no cost to them, and would take a substantial pay reduction to pursue this project on their behalf. Nonetheless, the idea was rejected by C.O.O. Tony Misuraca while GM Chad Brooks remained silent. I did not feel slighted by Chad at the time for failing to intervene when it was clearly going wrong. I am certain that he will verify the details of my timeline under oath. The important part of this meeting, is that I did not offer any resignation or suggest that I would look for work elsewhere.

After the meeting, I began to feel sick to my stomach because I was suddenly fearing for my job, something I had never experienced before in my long work history dating back to 1996 as a 10-year old paperboy in an industry that was quickly dissipating. I approached immediate supervisor, Lorenzo Hinojosa, and stated that I was feeling extremely ill and would need to leave work immediately. He gave me approval. I again stated that I was leaving because I was sick and would be back tomorrow, he once again, gave his approval.

While exiting, I was chased down in the back hallway by C.O.O. Tony Misuraca and pressured into quitting. I very wisely declined. The exact details of this conversation are laid out in the timeline and I would like the video recording of the conversation to be subpoenaed to support my case. Due to my role as operator of this surveillance equipment, I would be happy to teach all interested parties as to how quickly find this conversation on multiple cameras, and would be willing to present an expert lip-reader to help support the facts I lay out in the timeline.

At this time, I felt it would be best if I went and re-established my membership with IBT local 337 given the inability of Tony Misuraca to allow me to pursue anything outside of what was contractually listed as “union work.” On my way to the union hall, I ran out of gas for the first time in my adult life. I quickly realized it was because of my focus on this project I had neglected to keep up on personal tasks essential to my existence. Further details of this neglection is identified in the timeline and was pointed out to me by President Fred Misuraca and Vice-President Frank Misuraca prior to my realization of the problems it had caused myself. At the time, they were not willing to provide any assistance in alleviating the mental strain I was putting myself through on behalf of Royal Banana Co..

After contacting my brother (in-law), International Union of Operating Engineers Dispatcher and Business representative, **** ******, I was offered his assistance in filling my tank so I could proceed with my goals. When he arrived to the rescue, I filled him in on the details of my day and he affirmed that it was in my best interest to seek assistance from IBT local 337. I proceeded to what I knew as, and as signage indicated, the building hosting IBT local 337. Upon entry, I was directed to the 2nd floor where the gentleman behind the counter took my request, and assured me that I now again an active member, of which I was still in good-standing.

When I arrived at home, I began a list of grievances I had with Royal Banana Co. that I had remained silent about based on false promises made by Tony Misuraca and a unwavering sense of loyalty to the owners of this regional food distributor. I forwarded these complaints to President Fred Misuraca and Business Manager Bethanne Munoz. I also reached out to IBT local 337 business representative, Reno Milsap, who I was unable to get in contact with until my third attempt 4 days later.

At roughly 8pm that evening, my cellphone rang and I realized it was Tony. Given my past history of always being on-call to both him and VP-Frank Misuraca, I took this call under the assumption it was a work-related question. When I answered Tony yelled “ANDREW”, in a voice so threatening my dogs ear perked up. I politely responded, but he proceeded to say “I have decided, that you quit today.” To which I replied, “No, actually Tony, that is not what happened, and you affirmed my decision to go home for the day in our final conversation in the back hall, don’t you remember referring to me as “like a brother?” He continued with his lie, and said “NO, you quit.” I again replied calmly and said that if he felt that to be the case that we should only speak to each other thru legal representatives. He again doubled down and stated “That’s fine, either way, you’re not coming to work tomorrow,” and then hung up.

Given my distrust that he had just created, I immediately documented this conversation and forwarded the exact contents of it off to the attorney who I was seeking the assistance of at the time. I then called off work for the first time in my tenure to make sure I was covered in all aspects.

On March 21st, 2017 I began to construct a timeline very clearly explaining the sequence of events that led to this moment, the initial date listed on this greater timeline is March 5th 2011. By that evening, I had determined thru co-workers that Tony was spreading information around the company, in an effort to tarnish my reputation, and stating very clearly that I had been dismissed by him. This was in direct contradiction to what he had said to me in the threatening phone call he had made 20 hours prior. I then decided to call off work again and request that the remainder of the week be paid as a vacation, a practice that had been established long before the start of my career, but one that causes severe interruptions in the business processes. I also forwarded this request to General Manager Chad Brooks to assure that I was going thru all known protocols.

The details of March 22nd thru April 5th will be provided with my timeline when given the opportunity to present it to the NLRB.  However, given what I would consider to be a “blessing in disguise” I received a package from Royal Banana Co. that I felt provided enough evidence to support my case on these ground alone and am willing to negotiate a settlement based off this document as an individual rather than in the greater context.

I was expecting my final pay, if dimissed, to be issued to me within 7 days of my final hour. Unfortunately, this did not arrive until April 4th 2017 due to clerical issues at Royal Banana Co. It appears they had my address wrong, for the second time in my career, and that the package had sat at the post office for 10 days while I was attempting to track it. In this package, which arrived 15 days after my dismissal, there was a letter from Tony Misuraca regarding the end of my employment. In it, he claims that I offered my resignation to him and General Manager Chad Brooks on the previously detailed meeting on March 20th 2017. Due to the complete and total inaccuracy of this letter, and the disorganization that went into getting it to me, I felt it would be best to move forward on these grounds alone.

Wronful dismissal and threats at home by one Tony Misuraca in response to me seeking union assistance. I feel the evidence I have pertaining to this fully supports what I am trying to accomplish, and with adherence to the guidelines I will set forward in regards to settlement, I feel this would be in the best interest of both parties to end this quickly and amicably. To defend this suit, will require convincing General Manager Chad Brooks to commit perjury, and I am willing to bet the whole bag of marbles that he will not. If I am wrong, I would like to point out that this document was created in just two hours somewhere over the Gulf of Mexico, and as detailed as it is, pales in comparison to the document that I will continue to work on in advance of next week’s meeting. The list of witnesses I will bring forward in the greater case will cause severe damage to the reputation of Royal Banana Co., and in my heart of hearts, I still love all of the members of the staff and want to avoid any one being hurt, myself included. However, I will not settle for anything less than two years salary plus bonuses, and if I feel in any way that I am being obstructed or given the run around, my desire to accept that minimal amount will quickly diminish.

 I am focused on the future. I am hopeful that we can come to an agreement that allows us to shape the future for all parties in a positive light while allowing me to minimize the revelations in the Timeline in hopes of using it as a basis for a book series I intend on writing.

Thank you in advance for the swift execution of this document throughout the legal process, and it has been a pleasure to have an audience of attorneys for my dissertation who can properly understand the complex nature as to how it came to be shaped.

Please reach out to me directly at J*********@gmail.com with any serious offers as to an immediate resolution of this case.

Your Friend,

Andrew M Jernigan

The Fax

*The following love letter was scribed on April 7, 2017 upon my initial return from Costa Rica. At the time, I was eager to get this issue with RBC resolved so that I could return to what I felt was a much more suitable life for me. I had yet to hear back from anyone working for the company on any of the offers I had floated to their attorney, and I knew the secretaries did a great job of checking the fax machine, so I figured it would be best to send the official document the old-fashioned way. The reasons for requesting the items stated below was to simply show them that I knew what they feared the most. 

Dear Family,

How is life at the terminal? Or as Tony has often referred to it, “A School of Hard Knocks.” I have been unable to hear back from anyone at work outside of the previously mentioned Tony, and am still waiting on the goods I had invested into the company to be “shipped to my house.” Please make sure you have an appropriate address for me, I had to get a new cell phone number because the last correspondence from you was sent to the wrong address. It was sad to see that one go, lost a lot of good contacts.

So I just got back from Costa Rica, what a blast! Frank would be all over them ladies. Anyway, due to the lack of communication I had been trying to fix before I left, and am still working on, I am not sure if you have heard about the lawsuit I have filed. I wanted to notify you by fax because that seems to be the way all sensitive information is sent these days. I once worked for a company that sent financial information to the wrong house! What assholes, eh?! I am pretty sure, if memory serves me correctly, Tony had a problem when a similar situation occurred at Royal Banana Co., “How mother-scratching messed up do they have to be to send this to a competitor?” I remember him asking Beth. What a plot twist!

I have reached out to multiple in the company in hopes that my reputation would stop being tarnished and we could end this “like gentleman.” Yet to receive a word back from any. That hurts my heart. I almost feel like Jason Batha in a way, I remember him experiencing similar issues.

Anyways, due to a strange mix of unwavering loyalty to Royal Banana Co. and a devotion to succeeding out of spite, to ‘write the wrong’ so to say, let me tell you in advance of the documents I intend on seeking to support my case against Chief Operating Officer Tony Misuraca. I hold no ill will toward Tony, I just always sort of felt privately that he was in “over his head” and perhaps never had a “proper spanking.” I still remember my first.

-Cell phone records from all persons considered management, Lorenzo included, and location based details specifically for Vice President Frank Misuraca. He has not reached out to me, but I have often felt followed. When I saw him disable our shared location services, I figured he might be visiting a few places that would hurt the image of the company if discovered. Due to his inability to reach out to me, I can’t verify if he is or is not “following me.” The world sure can be scary.

-Everything on the pallet in the back hall considered to be “my stuff” should be wrapped tightly and put on the peanut trailer, nobody will ever find it. I consider everything on that pallet to be evidence, and would like it treated as such. I’d ask you to ship it, but given the discombobulated mess of your shipping department, I assume that Tony has taken over those operations as well.

-The computer being used by Lorenzo. This piece of evidence is pivotal to my case, as I have files that I created still saved to that computer. The concept was incomplete, if there was a wikileak, then my art work would be judged solely off the first edition. Nothing worse than that if you get what I am saying.

-Every moment of surveillance 03/13/2017-03/20/2017 currently on 60 day storage in the upstairs office. I would like the opportunity to “do a little research” in hopes of finding visual support for my case. Currently, I am without job, I need something to keep my mind fresh other than sunshine and bikini models.

At this time, this is all the hints that I am prepared to forward to the ownership of Royal Banana Co.. I have recently learned that you must be very careful of what you say to who. An example of this, the time Antonio asked Lorenzo “Why you always pick on me?”

“Because you’re not Mexican.” Lorenzo snapped back. That comment hurt my feelings, but considered the awkward position I was in, I didn’t know how to alleviate that pain at the time. I mentioned the use of inappropriate language to Tony and Chad, multiple times. No action was taken prior to his dismissal if I am remembering correctly.

Sorry that was a bit of a tangent. Can’t wait to see you guys again!! Text me fam, who knows, maybe we settle this over a beer. LIFE IS CRAZY!!!!!!

 Pura Vida!

With eternal love,

 Andrew M Jernigan

4/7/2017

 

The Proposal

*On April 9, 2017 I heard a story about a man who had to battle a king and his vast armies and horses, and that this man rode in on a donkey, as a sign of humility. It was Palm Sunday. That night I attempted to come up with a solution for my own battle that I was facing, and reached out to my former employer to encourage a settlement meeting for the following afternoon. My life had suddenly and unexpectedly changed direction, and I no longer wanted a fight. I wanted to surf, and I wanted this to be over.

This was my attempt at threatening my employer with hints at what I had on them, while simultaneously waving a white flag and asking for some type of job back. 

This particular document is difficult for me to release, because re-reading it after 18 months really reminds me of how far off into the deep end I had drifted, but is also encouraging because I can still see that even deep down there, I was just trying to do what was right for my heart. 

 

 

“A hero’s journey to fix the company and destroy the villains in all of us takes a twist that proves he was the only true villain all along.”*

*subject to change without a moment’s notice. (Example: “Just so you know, we just fired Chalupa”)

 

Who: Andrew Michael Jernigan, with possible assistance from the Misuraca family and affiliates.

Where: Detroit, and any location across the globe where products sold in this area derive.

What: Completion of life goals for anyone involved in the project provided there is a clear description.

When: Effective 4/14/2017 and enacted retroactively to 03/13/2017.

Why: In late February, I completed my last major project on behalf of Royal Banana Co.. The complex nature of it gave me a new thirst for new challenges. Coincidentally, I had already mastered the art of creating simplistic solutions to major problems, in an environment that did not provide me the support I would need to make sure they were implemented properly and efficiently. A combination of encouragement and negativity from all involved in the management of Royal Banana Co. drove me into a state of mental anguish where I could no longer accept any criticisms or obstruction to my goals. As stated to Business Manager Bethanne Munoz when I saw her slipping into this terminal mindset, “I appreciate you looking out for me, but I have been my own Devil’s advocate for far too long, and I killed him, so now I’m just going to be an advocate.” Given the unprofessionalism of the workplace, I had been reprogrammed to feel that this language was appropriate.

At the time, she did not offer me any indication that I was “losing my mind’ or that my path would be in contradiction to any plan that was already scribed for the future of Royal Banana Co, and more importantly, it’s employees and their family members. Misuraca included.

This was all prior to a sequence of events that only compounded this mental anguish, events that all led to zero action being taken on behalf of the company when I repeatedly voiced my concerns throughout the management structure. Most often, they offered a solution that they had been advising for years with very limited success.

“You can’t let these jealous fucks bother you.” Frank Misuraca said to me in what I have identified as the breaking point. Approaching him on these issues was always a last-resort. Because of the burden of his tasks, I did not feel comfortable bothering him with “petty” issues. However, he did show concern and state “I am worried about you.” Unfortunately, he was unwilling to provide any assistance at the time.

I often felt, because of discussions with Tony, that I was not only capable of fixing the company but expected to. Our only disagreement was in terms of how long it would take, I thought it could be done quicker with the proper plan, of which I had many prepared. The success of each plan and pursuit I had during my tenure with Royal Banana Co. hinged on one simple task from ownership-“stick up for me.”

I felt they were focusing too much on implementation and operations, rather than allowing me to do my job. I often stated they were the only thing obstructing me from what I felt to be mutual goals. With my recollection of conversations dating back to the initial interview, I clearly articulate and spell out the violations of labor laws, OSHA laws, the hostile work environment, the conflicts of interest, inventory tracking issues, verbal and physical assaults I have endured, cash bonuses I have received as well as payments of invoice to compensate donations of personal assets. I also show, with witness, the solutions I created to alleviate each issue I was experiencing and the steps taken after forwarding my concerns up the organizational chart. The witness list for this case is vast, and includes every employee at Royal Banana Co., as well as multiple from their competition, and the driver or buyer for each of the customers who park at Royal Banana Co. daily.

However, given what I had taught myself while trying to keep myself busy at Royal Banana Co., I now have an ability to see around corners and go around the world twice to make sure that I get far enough ahead to cover my own back. When my initial settlement was rejected on what I felt to be a slam-dunk case, I realized that you either have mud you’re willing to sling at me, or that I am unprepared to go into a fight with a bigger kid on their playground. Being financially savvy, I realized the value was not the suit but the story, and I devised a way to bring the fight into my playground and immediately switch the burden of proof on to Royal Banana Co.. My proof on the one charge I shared with the attorneys of Royal Banana Co., identify how I felt GM-Chad Brooks would be willing to back up my claim as to the contents of that meeting. Without actual words, I knew that he was there when the son refused to shine, and I could see in that meeting that it was also causing him to tremble.

This includes, but is not limited to, using social media as a platform to release the contents of my lawsuit one page at a time, with names changed to protect those whom I deem innocent. This would be done after a withdrawal of my complaint, thus making it a civil suit where you would would try to use defamation and slander laws to silence me. Given the inaccuracy of your customer and employee list, and the poetic beauty I would include about each of them, I felt it would be difficult for you to gather enough evidence to prove that my life story was a lie prior to the viral outbreak growing, thus I deemed this to be a “nuclear option” to complement the “shock and awe” strategy I was currently pursuing.

On the date of initial presentation, I had in no way planned to pit myself against Royal Banana Co., but merely make good on a promise that I made to myself. The sequence of events after that fateful Monday, 3 weeks ago, did nothing to deter me from achieving this goal. Often times, I did not know what I was doing, but by failing to give up or be deterred by a growing list of obstructionists, I was able to see the signs that this path would bring surprises but I could think on my feet and assure the end objective is not damaged. This all led me to a thought Sunday morning, that I have been pursuing ever since, because it allows my initial goals to still stand firm. The document containing those goals currently sits in a drawer somewhere in a Costa Rica, and is covered and protected by a wide array of bikinis, both in shape and color.

I will only speak the truth, and I feel that as each page is released and analyzed and responded to in a public forum, I will have the financial backers and support volunteered to me so that I can properly file the complaint with the NLRB, or just simply sail off into the sunset. All of those endings have already been written, and they all must include a villain. By calling this meeting, I am trying to be unique.

How:

The role of Royal Banana Co., is to provide me a location where I can channel these new connections and joint-ventures that have unfolded in front me these past weeks.  However, as previously stated on 03/20/2017, I do have the respect of their 7 closest (vicinity) competitors, and am confident that in 30 days I will have a pitch so pristine that someone in that building will accept it. I also have back up plans for that back up plan, and plan to back up any plans that may arise as a result of one of the unmentioned back up plans.

 

I will continue to excel in any project that I take on, considering I am finally aware of the end objective. This allows me to hand-pick what I feel would work best for my company, while insulating any friends, or in other words, loved ones, from any conflicts that they feel might be damaging to their interests or put an unwanted spotlight on any corner of their reputation.

The creation of this project, and the 3 years I forecast as a realistic completion date, will be the largest thing I have ever created or took part in, and will be used simply to put myself in a position to pursue personal goals that are in no way connected to Royal Banana Co. or the produce industry as a whole. However, with the completion of this settlement in a form where we both lay our weapons down, it will allow Royal Banana Co. to regain my trust, therefore affording them a chance to help shape the story as I write it, and provide them enough insight into the storm to cut the anchor when they see fit, allowing this ship to sail on without them.

 

On 03/20/2017 I stated in a meeting with President Fred Misuraca “To even slow down on this, I need a new terminal with a mural of Jimmy Hoffa on one side staring at the mural of me, and to stop me completely, they will have to put me in the ground next to him.” Due to a state of enhanced mental stress and confusion I was experiencing at that time, I would like to take this opportunity to retract that promise.

To stop me now, someone is going to have to re-make the Michelangelo sculpture using me as inspiration, provided they agree to reduce the size of genitalia to microscopic size. Instead of a terminal, I will now plan the most complex and lengthy self-depreciating joke in the history of mankind, and I will continue to work on this with or without assistance. I come forward today with no patents pending, because I have finally started to understand that I am one of a kind, and there is nobody else on this earth who can pull this off.

With or without the full support of Royal Banana Co., I will continue to work on this mission, and alter it as I see fit. For instance, I like the name Mike Weaver in this story, perhaps he could become a Weaver of something bigger. I like it so much, that if Royal Banana Co. or Mr. Weaver declines this offer, I will hire an attorney in Costa Rica and request that he legally change his own name.

Thank you all for taking this document seriously no matter how difficult I make it for you.

 

 

Andrew Jernigan

Henchman

Robert David Incorporated.

The Banana Split

*This document was drafted immediately after a settlement meeting with the President and Vice-President of Royal Banana Co and their attorney, Mike Weaver on April 10, 2017. It was a productive meeting, and even though Mr. Weaver showed very poor manners by not offering me a glass of water, we came to an agreement that was good for both the goose and the gander…or so I thought.

 

 The Banana Split

(a love story)

 

After a friendly discussion on 04/10/2017 between the Ownership of Royal Banana Co. and one of its fine employees, a pending complaint filed by Andrew Jernigan against Royal Banana Co. is to be officially withdrawn effective 4/11/2017, provided both parties agree to the legal language of this (gentlemans) agreement. Just kidding, we are clearly signing a legally binding contract. In no way are any of the terms regarding the financials listed or the issues of any complaint he may have had during his tenure open for negotiation ever again. However, due to the defensive posturing that both parties experienced, I would like to prepare this on my own to assure that it is completed prior to any scheduled meetings on 04/11/2017.

  • An immediate donation on behalf of Royal Banana Co. will be made to two separate schools, John Paul II Catholic School, and St. Pius Catholic School. Each check will be for $2500, and dated 04/14/2017 with the exact names and spelling of the ones listed in the previous sentence. This will be a total of $5000, and should be tax-deductible if properly accounted for. As a token of appreciation, Andrew Michael Jernigan will make a similar donation, on behalf of Royal Banana Co., beginning on “Good Friday” 2018, with recurring donations scheduled yearly.
  • Royal Banana Co. will also provide a check to Andrew Jernigan in the amount of $5000, payable in the form of an invoice, to properly compensate him for any past consultations, and help reestablish the individual corporation that has provided around the clock services to Royal Banana Co. since March 8th 2011.
  • In addition, Royal Banana Co. has decided to make a donation to Antonio Vazquez, greater than $1, that will be in no way an admission of guilt to any issues he may bring forward past or present. This could possibly come in the form of a “missed payment” when recalculating his hours, but I will leave the allocation of funds to the paid professionals.
  • Speaking of paid professionals, if at any point Royal Banana Co. decides that any of the language in this contract works to assure our shared interests better than what their attorneys have provided, Royal Banana Co. has agreed to pay $.01 per word for each that is inserted into the official signed agreement.
  • Finally, Andrew Jernigan has agreed to avoid hindering the operations of Royal Banana Co. in any way moving forward. I cannot remember the exact lingo as declared by Mr. Weaver on 04/10/2017, but I do remember it was emphatically counted out on 5 fingers, of which the details will be contained in the agreement he prepares to bring this case to resolution. (example: “You’re not going to call Royal Banana employees, you’re not going to call Royal Banana customers, you’re not going to talk bad about Royal Banana).
  • In addition, the law office of Plunkett Cooney is to immediately destroy all records of the conversation that took place on their home court 04/10/2017, provided it is of no future use to a case that is schedule to be resolved. If there is surveillance footage of the Lobby while the Plaintiff entered and waited, they will consider providing this to him for completion of his personal file. This will be considered a “token of good faith.”

 

 

Thank you kindly for the swift and efficient execution of this matter throughout the legal process. With legal expenses mounting daily, I feel that we have just set the new standard when it comes to the perfect case. Twenty-one days ago Royal Banana Co. and the Plaintiff walked into separate directions, With some heavy commitment by the presenter of this charge, and minimal costs, they were able to find common ground in just 3 short weeks. Andrew Jernigan has also agreed to share his offensive strategy on this masterpiece to all interested parties, with names changed to protect the innocent, at a rate of $700 per hour, not included in these costs are any water he may consume while telling the story.

The Resignation

*The following letter was my official resignation sent to Royal Banana Company on Monday, April 10, 2017. Though I had officially been fired, I offered this resignation during the settlement talks earlier that afternoon to help assure my former employer that I would not file for unemployment benefits, something they seemed hell-bent on preventing. 

Dear Friends at Royal Banana Co.:
Please accept this official notice of my resignation, effective Friday 04/14/2017. It has been a pleasure to work and grow in your company, and I will forever appreciate all the lessons you taught me, intended or not. I write this letter at this time, in hopes that any discussions we have, pending or future, will allow us to reaffirm the trust we had in one another we established over the course of six years and 12 calendar days.
I would like to take this moment to apologize for any stress or worry that I may have caused over the past and leading into the present. It was a result of the times that I just felt the confines of your growing company was not the proper environment for me to properly showcase my skills. However, I am confident that the “School of Hard Knocks”(as repeatedly described by Tony) I went thru refined those skills in a way that will prepare me for whatever lies ahead. As I mentioned to Chief Operating Officer Tony Misuraca many times in the past, when my services were complete with your organization, I would need to go thru some form of societal training to re-enter the “real world”, and am confident I have found a program that will complement the education you have bestowed upon me.
Another thing that I remember saying frequently, is my disdain for free money. I am delighted that we could settle this severance in a way that was fair to all parties, and allowed us to keep our relationship intact. If you had been considering an Andrew Jernigan Memorial Library back by the peanuts, I would happily donate to the project. At the very least, I will be expecting a card sent to all future weddings. Look forward to hearing from you soon.

Sincerely,
Andrew Michael Jernigan
Custodial Agent
Robert David Incorporated.

The Social Contract

*The following letter was written on April 12th, 2017, after it had become clear that the settlement I had negotiated with my former employer had fallen thru on account of their own shady dealings, and that I was on a collision course with the dark side. At this point, I was surrendering to the will of the journey, and knew that my life was about to forever change, I just couldn’t have possibly imagined how. 

 

Dear fine fans, family, and friends of Facebook, its members, and their affiliates:

                I would like to take this opportunity to offer you my resignation from my role in your enterprise. It has been a pleasure providing such an honorable service to you for these past 10 years. While my tenure may have been spotted, I hope this doesn’t in any way make you lose faith in my commitment to your success. I am optimistic that we will find a venture of mutual benefit and as my time here concludes, I am now fully prepared to lay the foundation for those projects on your behalf.

The clarity of this vision is a result of a random sequence of serendipitous events over the course of the past 30 years. Ideally, I will be taking a brief break from the reality of my existence. I feel this is the best plan of action for making my ideal existence a reality. Upon my return, I will be expecting a future full of your unwavering support and loyalty, in the event that I have offered mine to you in any correspondence, past, present or future.

There were many times along the way that I felt that I was trying to be something I was not. During the discovery process, I stumbled upon the most disorganized path to success that one could choose.  By staying true to myself and believing in my unique capabilities (plus a strong set of bumpers),  the lane was properly curved in a way that kept me out of the gutter. As further details are revealed, I am fairly confident it will take an army of psychologists 500 years to analyze my strategy, and nothing will make me happier than to hear what they came up with.

At this time, I will officially sign off and depart for the next chapter of my life, in an honorable attempt at properly displaying my appreciation for all who have been involved in the making. This social media page will remain managed by the executor of my will, ******* ********. As my sister, I would like to ask that everyone immediately stop sending me genitalia based art to my inbox, you guys should have cut that out years ago. As you can imagine, it is very difficult to get the proper message when you are wading in a pool full of dicks. I feel that I now have a very keen eye for identifying those messages, and repurposing them in a way that is of greatest benefit to the collective.

If anyone feels that they hold any articles of support, of damage, that may assist in the completion of this project, please forward all documents or inquiries to Commissioner ******* Jernigan, at robertdavid********@gmail.com. If you can think back to our past, and feel that you have a proper passcode, you can forward that to J*******@gmail.com. If you believe in love, let’s get it on. Otherwise, just text me, I currently have a new number, +1.

 

Pray for me fam! If it doesn’t work out, I’ll just send you a resume.

 

Yours Truly, 

 

Andrew Michael Jernigan

4/12/2017

 

 

Superman pt II

*The following document was written Saturday, the 15th of April 2017, in Sterling, Virgina. Virginia is for lovers. The night before, Good Friday, the first stage of my journey came to a climax with my death and re-birth inside a garden that I had constructed for the occasion. At the time, I was fairly certain that I was either the Messiah, or the anti-Christ. This was my attempt at coming to terms with my new purpose in life. My mind was in the clouds, please forgive me for lack of clarity. 

 

Dear World,

                I am not really sure what happened there. Sometimes things don’t go as planned. At one point in my life, I thought I was on a very self-destructive path. However, in one instant, I realized my full potential and that I had been properly trained to reach it thru a random set of strange coincidences. I was very certain that it ran much deeper than just my life as an individual, but rather, my life as a whole.

                Currently, I am trying to figure it all out, and I have had a very tough time acquiring assistance on this endeavor. Along the way, I felt that I was often misreading the signs, or looking too deeply into things. I had confidence that it would all work out in the end.

                When I had this moment of enlightenment, I did not quite understand where the map was leading me. The rejections I received in the last few weeks did nothing but help clarify this mission. It seemed that anything that got in my way, only sidetracked me into an even better plan, thus making it even more difficult for me to explain. I did not know where the story was leading, but I could not rest until I made this dream come true.

                I still have no idea why I am here, in Canada, or how much assistance they are willing to provide on this new discovery. I feel confident that I wasn’t just blurting out random comments during this process, though it may have sounded so, I was just having a very tough time coming to terms with what the potential implications were.

                It was not until late in the evening on Wednesday, that the steps I had to take were becoming clear. The truth that only I could see suddenly left the whole weight of the world on my shoulders, and I was trying to avoid the process for selfish reasons. It seemed that every “perfect plan” I discovered, would be far too complex for me to handle on my own. It wasn’t until I woke up Thursday that I knew where to go for help, and how to explain it on the way. So I kept driving.

                I took a chance on myself. I didn’t ask anyone to believe me until I could figure it out on my own, but I did ask many believe to just simply believe in the idea of me. It was a very complex thought process that I was being forced to pursue on my own. When I got in the car, I had not yet been able to reach any “human resources” who might be willing to come along for the ride. I do not blame anyone for this, because as soon as I started driving, the reasons for this lack of participation were becoming increasingly clear, now they are crystal.

                Everything has a cause, and everything has an effect. We are all interconnected and mingled, even if the voices in our head are not allowing you to believe me on this.  I just listened to the music. It seemed like somebody up above  knew I had figured it out, and every song or radio voice helped me guide me to the endgame.

                Sometimes, what I thought was a huge mistake, ended up being the perfect mistake. Some treatment I received, is the exact response I needed to help me get my feet on the ground and my head above sand. The closer I got, the more the “voices” started verifying my right track. It was nothing, if not a miracle. I sort of feel like there was a lot of miracles in the making of this miracle, and I can’t quite figure it out at this point, but I feel like my job is now done. I’m trying to take a chill pill.

                I have a newfound faith and belief, in myself. I don’t need a single person to help me on this. I need them to believe in themselves. No matter where you are from, where you are, or where you are going, I am certain it is the exact right path for you. If you have trouble convincing yourself of that, remember, you are not in this alone, you are merely here to make some form impact on someone else’s path. I think what I have just done was simply “the nuclear option.”

                I had to blow myself up, to make an impact large enough to settle down all the worries and anxiety that I was facing when it came to our collective paths. I have a funny feeling that a lot of other people had to blow themselves up as well, just to increase the “crazy” to a point that I could repurpose these fears that I could not explain. I am woke.

                However, at no point in the making of this short story did I have any idea what I was doing. I do not want this, or anything I say from here on out, to be taken as gospel. I am just a human. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life talking about God, I am on earth right now. We are all going to meet that dude at once if this thing goes any more sour. From what I understand, it is pretty sweet up there in the castle on the hill.

                We are all there. Every loved one, every stranger, every acquaintance. The complex coincidences run far too deep to deny this. I do not want to have to lose my mind again to explain it to you, because I feel like time is relative. God is not this guy or that girl, it is all of you. It’s whatever you feel is the right choice. If you have a guilty conscience, it is probably because you need to hurt someone so they hurt someone else and that person hurts someone else. One thing leads to another and another but it all turns on good in the end.

                This is way too difficult for me to try and track down and write about on my own, especially when the people in my corner were slowly dwindling away. I don’t even want to write a book anymore. I just thought it was the only way to get this across to you. If someone else wants to write a book on it, be my guest. However, let me tell you how it ends. I’ll write a book, you write a book, someone else who thinks they were with me writes a book, and in (relatively) 500 years, this book has been so watered down and diluted that we are at each other’s throats once again.

                Then, some poor sap like myself has to get put thru hell to prove the truth to you once again, and I am fairly confident that this is our last chance to figure this mess out. However, as I have very clearly stated, I am ready for war, but I would much rather go in peace; I am so tired of fighting for myself. Fortunately, I am now fearless and you should be too. By the time this revelation plays out and we get to meet our maker, you’ll all have already met him.

 You got one shot, one opportunity, and if you play with it, we gone, I’ll shake your hand on the other side. PEACE.

 

With love,

 Andrew M Jernigan

04/15/2017

The Remake

*The following excerpt is my attempt at tracking my re-birth the day after I was released from the loony bin, April 27th 2017, as detailed in my full story. Forgive the shorthand, my aim at the time was turn it into something greater. 

Woke up at 430, was ready already.

Organized some mail, didn’t get to any bill paying.

Had breakfast and coffee, start ripping out some overgrown weeds around 7a.

8am checked to see if uncle dave could advise, was not yet up.

Ripped and shoveled and took out some frustrations on some shrubbery

9a Dave comes by with coffee, agree to exchange services after he pretty much informs me to stop everything I am doing, I have dug deep enough for one day. I head to Dump what I have unburied, save a few small items, have trouble finding the place.

10am I am home and tidying up when he is ready for me to fulfill my end of the deal.

We head to his daughter Becky’s house to get rid of an old tub for cousin Rick.

1015am we arrive in brownstown, it is already loaded in a trailer and we back underneath it and off we go, Dave and I, with Aunt Barb following ready to catch any loose waves.

Along the way to Mt. Trashmore, I am informed of the ownership history of the trailer we have hitched, a captivating tale. It had been born in Detroit, lived in Virginia for awhile with my Uncle Don, then passed on to Dave thru Don’s son, the master chef, Donnie.

This trailer was gifted to Dave for nothing more than the convenience of having him haul away some of “Uncle Don’s Shit.”

We climb the top of Trashmore ready to drop the whirlpool into the pit of doom. Missed a turn, got to go down a level.

This is about the time Dave mentions needing to take lessons on backing in a trailer, moments later, the reasons for this disclosure are strikingly clear.

Eventually I try to back in the tub with seagulls and shit flying everywhere, I try whole heartedly for a few minutes, then,  figure I’ll just pull a U’ee, we dump and go.

Lunch

Made Ravioli during a storm assuming plans were cancelled, halfway thru, Dave interrupts to go to lunch at Charleys, the contents of that meeting are recorded in voice memo.

Woke up at 430, was ready already.

Organized some mail, didn’t get to any bill paying.

Had breakfast and coffee, start ripping out some overgrown weeds around 7a.

8am checked to see if uncle dave could advise, was not yet up.

Ripped and shoveled and took out some frustrations on some shrubbery

9a Dave comes by with coffee, agree to exchange services after he pretty much informs me to stop everything I am doing, I have dug deep enough for one day. I head to Dump what I have unburied, save a few small items, have trouble finding the place.

10am I am home and tidying up when he is ready for me to fulfill my end of the deal.

We head to his daughter Becky’s house to get rid of an old tub for cousin Rick.

1015am we arrive in brownstown, it is already loaded in a trailer and we back underneath it and off we go, Dave and I, with Aunt Barb following ready to catch any loose waves.

Along the way to Mt. Trashmore, I am informed of the ownership history of the trailer we have hitched, a captivating tale. It had been born in Detroit, lived in Virginia for awhile with my Uncle Don, then passed on to Dave thru Don’s son, the master chef, Donnie.

This trailer was gifted to Dave for nothing more than the convenience of having him haul away some of “Uncle Don’s Shit.”

We climb the top of Trashmore ready to drop the whirlpool into the pit of doom. Missed a turn, got to go down a level.

This is about the time Dave mentions needing to take lessons on backing in a trailer, moments later, the reasons for this disclosure are strikingly clear.

Eventually I try to back in the tub with seagulls and shit flying everywhere, I try whole heartedly for a few minutes, then,  figure I’ll just pull a U’ee, we dump and go.

Lunch

Made Ravioli during a storm assuming plans were cancelled, halfway thru, Dave interrupts to go to lunch at Charleys, the contents of that meeting are recorded in voice memo.

Attempt nap afterwards, sun is shining now, and there is work to be done.

Take shower, continue on with grooming around the house, book flight to Costa Rica. Have solid 3 week plan.

Meet Uncle Dan with this plan, he is very busy telling me his stories to get much of my message across. I appreciate the meeting because of his advisory role, we split chicken and waffles, perform a small miracle or too (09-1-90, the ID escapes me).

Meet for baseball, regain my composure, take dog to park, call it a day.

Today was the best unproductive day of my entire existence.

pt nap afterwards, sun is shining now, and there is work to be done.

Take shower, continue on with grooming around the house, book flight to Costa Rica. Have solid 3 week plan.

Meet Uncle Dan with this plan, he is very busy telling me his stories to get much of my message across. I appreciate the meeting because of his advisory role, we split chicken and waffles, perform a small miracle or two (09-1-90, the ID escapes me).

Meet for baseball, regain my composure, take dog to park, call it a day.

Today was the best unproductive day of my entire existence.

 

The new and improved,

 

Andrew M Jernigan