It’s a new year, and I guess that means its time for new beginnings. I have never been big on making resolutions, or doing anything to hold my self accountable to them. I think this year might be a little bit different. For the first time, I have some actual concrete goals, and I intend on achieving them.
If there’s anything I’ve learned, it’s that you probably don’t want to tell people your goals. Sure, it’s good to talk about with loved ones, but they are subject to change. I never wanted to get myself too locked in to one thing because of how quickly my interest would dwindle.
I don’t know what my resolution was at the end of 2017, but in hindsight, I hope I just wished to be normal. I was going thru a bit of rough patch at the time, so to see how far I’ve come in comparison is something I should give myself credit for. I can only pray that these changes will continue to grow exponentially.
This year I will keep it simple, I just want to continue with the progress I have been making. It’s odd how quick the universe rewards you for making a change, and I am becoming slightly addicted to these treats. To the victor goes the spoils. Maybe it’s just a placebo, but it gets me pretty high.
In the past year, I was able to write a 400 page book, and go thru three rounds of editing, send it to an editor by 12/30, and I STILL wasn’t even trying my hardest. I can do better. I hope this year to organize my time better, and not stay off the surf board too long.
Life comes at me in waves, from emotion to ambition. Sometimes I take a break from myself because of the ocean, but then I’ll let waves pass while waiting to start back up again. Towards the end of 2018 I finally started to figure out how to be productive between waves. It’s easier to get back up on the board for the next one when you never stopped moving to begin with.
I have a dream. I really want this dream. This dream is more important to me than any thought that has ever entered my mind. At the end of the rainbow in this fantasy, is a pot of gold filled with all of my other dreams. I thought that it was going to take me a really long time to see it to reality, but I may have sold myself short. This dream has grown roots and I believe that this will be the year that they break ground.
My resolution for 2019 is to have more resolve. To resolve this situation. To bring it to a resolution. I am sort of living in a secret world right now, and the quicker I can fix these little things, the faster the big changes will be set into motion. I won’t have to hide from me anymore. I get to expose myself to you.
“Take this pink ribbon off my eyes/I’m exposed and it’s no big surprise/Don’t you think I know exactly where I stand/This world is forcing me to hold your hand.” No Doubt: Just A Girl
The Journey 