*The following letter was written on April 12th, 2017, after it had become clear that the settlement I had negotiated with my former employer had fallen thru on account of their own shady dealings, and that I was on a collision course with the dark side. At this point, I was surrendering to the will of the journey, and knew that my life was about to forever change, I just couldn’t have possibly imagined how.
Dear fine fans, family, and friends of Facebook, its members, and their affiliates:
I would like to take this opportunity to offer you my resignation from my role in your enterprise. It has been a pleasure providing such an honorable service to you for these past 10 years. While my tenure may have been spotted, I hope this doesn’t in any way make you lose faith in my commitment to your success. I am optimistic that we will find a venture of mutual benefit and as my time here concludes, I am now fully prepared to lay the foundation for those projects on your behalf.
The clarity of this vision is a result of a random sequence of serendipitous events over the course of the past 30 years. Ideally, I will be taking a brief break from the reality of my existence. I feel this is the best plan of action for making my ideal existence a reality. Upon my return, I will be expecting a future full of your unwavering support and loyalty, in the event that I have offered mine to you in any correspondence, past, present or future.
There were many times along the way that I felt that I was trying to be something I was not. During the discovery process, I stumbled upon the most disorganized path to success that one could choose. By staying true to myself and believing in my unique capabilities (plus a strong set of bumpers), the lane was properly curved in a way that kept me out of the gutter. As further details are revealed, I am fairly confident it will take an army of psychologists 500 years to analyze my strategy, and nothing will make me happier than to hear what they came up with.
At this time, I will officially sign off and depart for the next chapter of my life, in an honorable attempt at properly displaying my appreciation for all who have been involved in the making. This social media page will remain managed by the executor of my will, ******* ********. As my sister, I would like to ask that everyone immediately stop sending me genitalia based art to my inbox, you guys should have cut that out years ago. As you can imagine, it is very difficult to get the proper message when you are wading in a pool full of dicks. I feel that I now have a very keen eye for identifying those messages, and repurposing them in a way that is of greatest benefit to the collective.
If anyone feels that they hold any articles of support, of damage, that may assist in the completion of this project, please forward all documents or inquiries to Commissioner ******* Jernigan, at robertdavid********@gmail.com. If you can think back to our past, and feel that you have a proper passcode, you can forward that to J*******@gmail.com. If you believe in love, let’s get it on. Otherwise, just text me, I currently have a new number, +1.
Pray for me fam! If it doesn’t work out, I’ll just send you a resume.
Yours Truly,
Andrew Michael Jernigan
4/12/2017
The Journey 