So the honeymoon is over, and I suppose its time we got down to the nitty gritty. The reason I have decided to start writing more, is not to make money, but help work some things out of my head. Thoughts flow much more freely thru the safety of this screen. I have never been the type whom could easily verbalize the more serious contemplations taking place in my brain. I think it has much to do with the thick layers of disguise I wear to hide my true self from the rest of the world. The most fine-tuned of those masks is sarcasm.
It’s not that humor or sarcasm isn’t the real me, I love laughing and making people laugh. The world needs more of it. However, my inability to integrate my softer side into my outward personality had left me longing for more. I’m just a kid. So let’s start with a little backstory.
On 3/13/17, I had an epiphany that would forever change me. It was as if God had just up and decided to come out from behind the curtain, and explain in great detail the reason that I was created. It was an intoxicating high, and it sent me into utter chaos. Within two weeks, I had been fired from my job, filed a federal lawsuit against my former employer, and landed on a sandy beach in Costa Rica. I was a on a mission, and I was going mad.
Throughout this process, I was being guided by something other than myself. I didn’t have voices in my head, I only had MY voice in my head, and it was certain that this was leading somewhere. When I returned to the Motor City, I was ready to put the past behind me and hoped for a quick settlement from the old Italians who had previously been like a second family to me. This was where it started going bananas.
On 4/14/17, Good Friday to be exact, I died for my sins. The funny thing about it is how well I knew it was coming. In the way that animals flee before I storm, I drove myself to Washington DC so I could die in peace. My death was not physical, before that moment I did not realize there way any other way to die. My death was spiritual, and at the time I confused it as my rebirth. The resurrection would not come for another 5 weeks.
I sat in purgatory during these 5 weeks, and it was nothing if not exciting. I was sent to the loony bin by my family, the dark path to enlightenment appearing to be terrifying or crazy from those not moving toward it. I conned myself out of there within a week and was back on my way to Costa Rica to properly wrap up the story. The way it ended was so romantically poetic and beautiful, that it has left me no choice but to share it with others.
Over a year has passed since my journey, and I am just now finally beginning to see the rewards for my sacrifice. It comes in the form of happiness. I was blind to my own despai, now I recognize my previous life for what it was, and am eternally grateful that it happened to me. It cost me a promising job, nearly all of my friends, and every dime in savings I had to find my answer. The value of this experience to me far exceeds the cost.
This is all I have for now, please come again…
“Rise up this morning, smiled with the rising sun. Three little birds, pitch by my doorstep. Singing sweet songs, of melodies pure and true, saying, this is my message to you.” Bob Marley: Three Little Birds
The Journey 